I Get It Now

Everyone who has kids says it: time goes by too quickly.

Kids grow up too fast.  You just blink and they’re teenagers.  Enjoy every moment.

From the time Logan was born until he was a little over a year old, I had no idea what these people were talking about.  Each month seemed like a year.  We were sleep deprived and stressed out.  He slept pretty well, but when he wasn’t sleeping, there was a whole lot of crying.  It completely drained us to have a baby that we could not console.  The crying (sort of) died down after about six months, but he was getting teeth almost constantly and every tooth was a huge drama.  Or he was sick.  He started sleeping through the night at seven months (after cry it out), but it wasn’t consistent until he was fourteen months.  That’s when he stopped teething.

At that point, he almost became a different child.  He was happy pretty much all the time.  It was such a relief to get through that difficult stage so we could move on with our lives and not have to listen to constant whining and crying.

We knew we wanted to have two kids, so the whole time I was pregnant with Mallory, we were preparing ourselves for those difficult infant days.  We were as ready as we could be for waking up several times a night to screaming, and having to deal with crying for hours at a time during the day.  I wondered how I was going to take care of Logan while being sleep deprived from the baby, and how I was going to attend activities with a baby that was crying all the time.  We had resigned ourselves to the fact that it was going to be really hard the first year, but once we pushed through that, it would all be O.K.

But that’s not what happened.  The first month Mallory was home, she hardly cried at all.  Mau and I were asking each other if we thought she was alright.  Like it was a bad thing that she didn’t cry much.  In the middle of the night, I would wake up to her vigorously sucking on her hand, and maybe a few little grunts.  There was no screaming.  When she’s awake during the day, she is sucking on her binky, or just looking around, or most recently cooing at me.  We are having some long conversations.  Right now, she is staring at a blue dog that’s hanging from her baby chair and a few minutes ago, she was in deep thought, staring at her fist.  When she does cry, she can be consoled almost immediately by being picked up.  I can read her cues and know if she is just overstimulated or wants to go to sleep.

Now I can say that time is going by too quickly.  Logan is closer to three than two, and Mallory is on her way to three months.  We are not having more children, so I know this is it.  Every time she grows out of an outfit or moves up a size in diapers, it’s clear to me how big she’s getting, and I know I won’t have a baby that small again.  Every little milestone of smiling, cooing, or holding her head up is going to be the last for me as a mom.  And because I have two great, happy kids, time is going way too fast.  Before I know it, they’ll be off to college.

I get it now.

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