Artist

Art teacher: Your son is, like, an artistic genius.  But, he’s disruptive in class.  I need him to take it down a notch.

Me: Yeah, it’s like that in school, too.  I don’t really know what to tell you, but if you can email me exactly what he is doing, then I can ask his teachers how they manage it.


Is normal overrated?

Because if it exists, I could use some.

 

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An Announcement! (and evidently my job history)

It’s been five years since I’ve had a ‘job’.  I am a stay at home mom, so I am definitely working, but I have not been contributing to the household financially.  I have been very happy with this arrangement, because I love being with my kids (most of the time), staying in my jammies all day, and not having to deal with a commute or structured work hours.

But now that my daughter is in preschool, and will be in Kindergarten in a couple years, my view is shifting.  I will have all day…. to do…. what?  Ok, to be honest I could fill my day with all kinds of fun activities – running, yoga, swimming, going shopping and out to lunch, or especially spending an obscene amount of time with my guilty pleasure – Facebook.   *Note – if this is my husband reading this, I am totally cooking and cleaning all day.

But there’s something inside of me that needs a change.  I need to feel useful.  I need to achieve.  I want to be successful.  I want to talk to adults again!

Looking back through my work history, I have always had somewhat flexible jobs.  Those that were not flexible lasted no longer than a year.  The standard 9-5 job does not work with my personality.  To say I do not like structure is an understatement.  As a teen, I was a lifeguard and worked on the city crew (both summer jobs), I worked for the tennis coach in college, but was able to choose the hours and days I would work.  I worked for my dad stocking Little Debbie for a season.  Moved to South Carolina to do some temp work, and eventually land a ‘real job’ in accounting (which only lasted a year, too much of the same!).  I then started working for a church directory company where I traveled to different places everyday to photograph families.  That was fun!

I moved back to Ohio and started a photography company in late 2002.  We specialized in School photos and Weddings, and over the course of eight years, I was able to build it into a nice little business.

Then my husband and I decided to have kids!  I realized quickly that I would not be able to run a full time business, and also be a full time mom, so I gave up the business.

Mora1-039D

Which leads me to this moment – I have become a Wellness Advocate for doTERRA!  Choosing this company was not random.  A seed was planted more than two years ago by Lisa Menning, which piqued my interest to do more research on doTERRA and find out what they were all about.   I love the products and I love what the company stands for.  Pure, safe, and effective essential oils, which are already helping me in several ways.  I love the idea of healthy, organic, and pure living.  Finding ways to help myself and others achieve healthy living through the use of these potent oils, without harmful or toxic chemicals is exactly the kind of company I want to be a part of.

Sharing doTERRA is a choice I have made, mainly because I get to set my own hours, to work as little or as much as I want to or am able to!

What does this mean?  Well, it means I will be sharing these oils with others.  I will be doing facebook parties and in home parties for those who are interested.  If I see a need, I will try to help you.  My intention is not to annoy you, or to make you scared to talk to me.  I am still me!  I am laid back and practical.  Your choices and decisions are yours and I will respect them.  But I will be here to help, if you choose.

Soon, I will be hosting a facebook party called Intro to Essential Oils.  You can be a part of it while wearing your pajamas and sitting on your couch!  If you are interested or curious, this will be a great place to start.  Also, there will be giveaways!!

I’m excited!  This is a new beginning for me, and a new journey!  I’m looking forward to increased happiness and healthiness for my family!

Thanks for reading friends – have a great day!

My site:  http://www.mydoterra.com/smora

(Please note, you do not have to share doterra with others, many people simply enjoy the benefits of using the oils, without working it as a business).

*Photo credit: Jeannette Palsa http://www.jpalsaphotography.com

 

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One Small Thing

My house is a disaster.  There is clutter everywhere.  The worst part is that when I clean a room, or part of a room, it is just as messy the very next day.  And when I say ‘clean’, I really mean ‘declutter’, because let’s face it, there’s only so much time.  Other than the kitchen and bathrooms, my house doesn’t get much attention.  I don’t really need to decorate for Halloween, because the dust and spiderwebs are already up.  There is definitely more I could do on a day to day basis, but when the kids don’t need my immediate attention, and we aren’t playing, I choose to relax and ‘check out’ online.  Cleaning can’t compete with that.

I have visions of my house being organized, clean, and free of clutter.  It’s so appealing to think of living in a space like that, but the enormity of taking on that project is so intimidating that I can’t even start.  And like I said, what is clean today, is a mess tomorrow.

Having said that, I’ve decided to try something different.  I’m going to try and clean one small space every day.  Depending how I feel that day, it may be a really small space.  Or one small thing.  The difference is that I’m really going to clean it, not just declutter it.  So, instead of just moving crap around every day, I’m going to look at a space and first decide if anything needs to be donated, then clean, and then move the rest around into an eye pleasing arrangement.

I tried it out yesterday, deciding to do one corner of my family room.

Here is one corner of my family room.  No, I'm not joking.

Here is one corner of my family room. No, I’m not joking.

I even cheated a little bit with this photo, because there was a table in the corner with crap on it.  I moved that into Logan’s room, and put his Little People play sets on it.  You can see my problem here, right?  Too many toys!  Our basement is not finished, and we have already designated our dining room as the ‘Thomas the Train’ room.  Where is all this stuff supposed to go?

I moved everything out of that corner, vacuumed, cleaned the baseboards and wood around the window, and cleaned the toys that went back into place.  I am going to have to make some hard decisions about the toys.  Some can go into the kid’s rooms, but others need to be donated or sold.  I moved a few into the ‘donation room’, and the others were moved into another area of the family room, because I want to see what toys don’t seem to be generating any interest at all.

The after photo.  How long can this last?

The after photo. How long can this last?

So, here is the new space.  I am going to get some shelving this weekend, and that will help with some of the loose toys.  If anyone else has any other suggestions, I am open to them!

Posted in Home, One Small Thing, Simplifying | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Buckwheat and Delicious Curry

A month or so ago, I bought some buckwheat at the store.  I sometimes buy things that I find interesting, even if I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do with it.  It sat in my pantry, because recipes usually call for rice, pasta, or quinoa.  I finally decided to cook it, and I was pleasantly surprised.

Buckwheat is actually a seed, but it cooks like a grain.  You simply cook it at a ratio of 1 cup buckwheat : 2 cups water.  Easy.  I only made a cup in case it was really gross, which of course, it wasn’t.  Buckwheat does not contain any wheat, despite half of its name being ‘wheat’, so if you are avoiding wheat for whatever reason, you can still eat buckwheat.

Uncooked Buckwheat

Uncooked Buckwheat

Cooked Buckwheat

Cooked Buckwheat

In the meantime, I was making this amazing curry that I found on Chocolate Covered Katie’s Blog.  Yes, that blog has a lot of great desserts on it, but as soon as I saw this recipe, I knew it had my name all over it.  I have made it several times, because who doesn’t love coconut milk, peanut butter, and red curry.  Yum!  I am not going to write out the recipe here, but rather send you over to her blog to drool over it and her many other recipes.  Click here for Thai Coconut & Peanut Butter Curry.

It worked really well mixed with the buckwheat, which continued to soak up the curry, like rice would.  I love all the veggies, and if you don’t have exactly what she calls for, you can sub what you have in your fridge.  I have a feeling I will be making this dish many, many times in the future!

Thai Coconut & Peanut Butter Curry

Thai Coconut & Peanut Butter Curry

Thai Coconut & Peanut Butter Curry on Buckwheat.

Thai Coconut & Peanut Butter Curry on Buckwheat.

 

 

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Gallo Pinto

Gallo pinto is a traditional Costa Rican dish of black beans and rice.  The literal translation of gallo pinto is ‘painted rooster’, and the reason is because the rice and beans mixed together (somehow) looks like a painted rooster.  But no worries, there were no roosters harmed in the making of our dish.  In my last post, I shared my recipes for both black beans and rice, and this is a way to combine them with a few additional ingredients to make a super delicious dish.  The secret to this recipe is Lizano Salsa. If you cannot find Lizano locally, you can purchase it on amazon or elsewhere online.  You will not be disappointed.

To make gallo pinto, you will need the following:

  • 2 – 4 tbsp canola oil
  • 1/2 onion (diced or chopped)
  • 3 tbsp minced garlic (fresh or from jar)
  • 1/2 red pepper, chopped
  • 3 cups cooked black beans (with liquid)
  • 4 cups cooked rice
  • 1/8 cup of Lizano Salsa (more or less depending on taste)
  • chopped cilantro for garnish

1. Heat oil in pan and saute onions, garlic, and red pepper until soft.

2. Add black beans and cook on medium/high heat for 10 minutes.  Make sure there is sufficient liquid in beans (either from the juice they were cooked in or you can add vegetable broth if they need it).

3. Add in Lizano Salsa and mix well.

4. Add in rice and mix well.  Once heated through, turn off burner and remove from heat.  Serve and garnish with cilantro.

Gallo Pinto is traditionally served for breakfast, but I like to eat mine any time of the day!

A little bowl of gallo pinto is a great way to start the day!

A little bowl of gallo pinto is a great way to start the day!

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Rice And Beans

This month I am participating in Vegan MoFo, which means Vegan Month of Food.  If you are not vegan, that’s ok, you can just think of it as ‘Month of Food’.  In fact, I think the label scares people away sometimes, which is too bad.  I love to eat, and I eat really delicious foods, so there is no reason to think that vegan food is bland or boring.  In fact, the variety of foods I eat now has increased dramatically since ‘giving up’ meat and dairy.  I’ll be posting about some of my favorite foods and products this month, and I hope you enjoy what I’ll be posting about.  And now……… on to rice and beans.  So simple & so delicious.

Rice & beans are easy to make, and when you have them cooked and ready in your fridge, you can easily throw them together with some veggies and/or more protein and you have a meal!  It makes ‘what’s for dinner tonight’ a little easier, because now you have a base on which to build.  I should add that my husband is from Costa Rica, so rice and beans are his staple foods, and he got me hooked on them as well.

I like to make about 3 cups of rice at a time and 3 & 1/2 cups of beans at a time.  You probably want to cut the serving in half, unless you plan to eat rice & beans every day, or if you are going to freeze some.

Black Beans: We prepare our beans in a pressure cooker.  It’s a fast and efficient way to cook many different foods, especially beans.  Before cooking the beans, I soak them overnight so they get softer.  This allows them to cook for less time in the pressure cooker.  My husband bought our pressure cooker more than ten years ago, and the brand we have is Chef’s Design.    If you do not have a pressure cooker, and aren’t interested in getting one, you can still soak the beans overnight and then boil them, but it will take a couple hours for them to cook vs. 18 minutes.  (You can also buy cooked canned beans and saute them with the onions and garlic if you don’t want to deal with dried beans.)

Here is what you need for the beans (12-15 servings):

3 cups black beans
1-2 tbsp canola oil
1/2 onion (diced or chopped)
3 tbsp minced garlic (we use the kind in a jar, that is already minced)
1 tbsp salt

1. Rinse the beans well until the water runs clear.  (Do not skip this step!)

2. Put the beans in a pitcher (or another container) and fill with water.  Make sure there’s  enough water for the beans to grow to three times their size.  Let them sit over night.  If you don’t have time for that, at least let them sit for three hours.  (If you only let them soak for a few hours, you will have to increase the time in the pressure cooker by about 10 minutes.)

3. Heat oil in the pressure cooker (with the lid off) and saute onions & garlic until they are soft.

4. Add in the beans and water, the salt, and put the top on the pressure cooker and seal.  Turn your oven burner on high. Wait for the cooker to start releasing pressure, turn the burner to low, and set the timer for 18 minutes.

5. Once the timer goes off, turn off the burner, and remove the cooker from the heat.  The pressure cooker will take a while to release all it’s pressure, and you will hear a click when it does.  This usually takes about a half hour, but if you need to eat your beans right away, then put the pressure cooker in the sink and run cold water over it.  This helps it cool down, and you can open the top in a few minutes.

Rice: I have been working toward eating only brown rice since white rice is stripped of nutrients, but my husband strongly prefers white.  If you choose brown over white, the main difference I’ve found is that you need to use more water, because brown absorbs more, and brown rice takes longer to cook.  Cooking times for either type of rice may vary, so you need to keep checking and stirring your rice as you go.

Here is what you need for the rice (12-15 servings):

3 cups white rice (or brown)
4 & 1/2 cups water (you will need 6 cups if using brown rice)
1-2 tbsp canola oil
1/4 onion (diced or chopped)
1 carrot (chopped)
1/4 cup milled flax seed
1 tbsp salt

1. Saute oil in pot and saute onions and carrots until soft.

2. Add in water and rice, flax seed and salt.  Stir together and turn burner on high until boiling.  Once boiling, turn burner to low and put lid on the pot.

3. Continue to check and stir rice every few minutes until the water is absorbed (about 20-40 minutes).  Remove from heat.

And that’s it –  side dishes for a week!  On the next blog post, I will be making one of my favorite dishes from the rice and beans – gallo pinto!

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Klean Kanteen

It seems like people are obsessed with bottled water.  Suddenly, water from the sink just won’t do.  Even though the bottled water is from some other tap (in New Jersey), we think that it is superior.  Also, it is also convenient.  Just grab and go when you head out the door.

But, what about all the waste those bottles create?  I think it’s safe to say that most people are not refilling those plastic water bottles.  They are just throwing them in the garbage, or hopefully, in the recycling bin.

I started to feel guilty whenever I bought one of those bottles.  So, I started seeking out a permanent solution.  I had reusable plastic water bottles in the past, but sometimes I could taste the plastic, and it wasn’t good for keeping drinks hot or cold.  And it would sweat, which is really annoying.

Then I discovered stainless steel insulated water bottles.  They look good, come in a ton of colors, sizes and have different options for the mouth of the bottle.  Best of all, since it is insulated, you can keep liquids cold or hot for several hours.   Originally, I had a HydraSip,but I lost it earlier this year (I’m secretly still looking for it).  I couldn’t believe how much I missed my bottle.  Everywhere I went, I felt thirsty.  When I tried to buy another one, I found that the company was out of business.  At least, the website seemed a little sketchy, and was not working properly.  So, I did some research, and people had nice things to say about the Klean Kanteen.  I ordered it from amazon, and while $25 might seem pricey fora water bottle, that’s really nothing compared to how much it gets used.  Everywhere I go, it’s with me.  I don’t leave the house without it.  When I go to bed, it’s on my night stand.  When I watch t.v., it’s holding my hand.

I only use it for water, and it really helps me NOT drink other sugary/bad stuff throughout the day.  I always put a few ice cubes in it, and since it’s insulated, it always stays cold.  I usually keep the lid off, so the ice melts, but when I leave the lid on, the ice stays in there for longer than you would expect.  The insulation also means that when you pick it up, your hand doesn’t freeze.  It keeps a nice temperature outside no matter how hot or cold your drink is inside.

No matter what you drink out of, consider using a vessel that is reusable.  It’s so much better for our environment.

My constant companion.

My constant companion.

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I’m Running a Half Marathon

As children, we all run.  We love it.  It’s hard to get kids to stop running around, especially when you want them to go to bed.  Then, at some point, we decide that it isn’t fun.  It’s a chore.  It hurts.  We would rather sit around than get up and move.

I never considered myself a ‘runner’, but I always enjoyed the way I felt after I went for a run.  As a seventh & eighth grader, I ran track.  I am not fast (at all) so I ran the 800 meter and 1600 meter races (half mile and mile).  I was decent.  I don’t remember ever winning a race, but I think I was a middle of the pack finisher.  Once I got to high school, I decided track wasn’t for me.  Track was a spring sport, and I tried out fast pitch softball my freshman year, which turned out to be a total failure.  For the next three years of high school, I decided to take the Spring off, after having tennis in the Fall, and basketball in the Winter.

I played tennis in college, and any running we did for training was definitely the worst part.  It was mostly short distances around the courts and sprints.  It was painful.  I preferred playing a three hour tennis match to those sprints.

Something happened toward the end of college.  There were times when I would go for a jog in a nearby park.  It didn’t happen often at all, but when it did, it felt pretty great.  I would go a couple miles, I think, but I wasn’t really keeping track.  These sporadic runs kept happening after I graduated.  I would run in the back field with my basset hound when I was living with my parents, and I would run around the neighborhoods when I moved to South Carolina.  I ran when I moved back to Cleveland.  I ran after having my children.  Running had stuck with me.  I didn’t pay much attention to it, but it was always there, lingering in the background.  I loved the way I felt after a run.  I was skinnier (I thought).  My muscles were stronger and more defined.  I had done something good for myself and I felt better.

About six months after having my second (and last!) child, I got back into running.  And by getting back into it, I mean that I would run once every two weeks.  One weekend for yoga, the next for running, then repeat.  This was not serious at all, but I would run two or three miles when I went out.

Then one of my friends started a local chapter for a running group called Moms RUN this town.  I thought, sure, I’ll join.  It was free and a lot of my friends were joining.  It started as a facebook group, and people would post about their runs.  Then one day, something funny happened.  I had just read that a couple of my friends had been on a great run.  It actually made me feel a little depressed, because they were feeling great, and here I was sitting on the couch, not feeling great.  Then I realized it was a weekend, my husband was home, and I had just put the baby down for a nap.  I could actually go out and take a run, too!  I don’t know why this was such a revelation, but after you have a baby, your time is so overwhelmed with taking care of them, you start to forget you can do things for yourself.  This wasn’t a ‘running’ weekend, so I needed this little bump from my friends to get out there and do it.  And it felt great.

I found out soon after that a few of my friends were going to run a half marathon.  A half marathon!  Wow!  I had only ever run one 5k, and that kind of accomplishment was never on my radar.  But, many of my friends hadn’t ever run farther than a 5k either, and some were just starting out.   Surely, I could do it too.  I had a solid base of being able to run a couple miles without passing out.

Positive peer pressure.  It pushed me to make the decision.

I decided to run the Towpath Half Marathon in October.  It will not be easy, and I have a lot more training to do before I’m ready, but I’m on my way.  I’m up to seven miles.  And the best part is that I have so many ladies cheering me on and supporting me along the way.  Running is not always enjoyable, but after I get through that first mile or two, I get into a groove.  I am running at least three times and week, and I WANT to go out and run.  I get up early to run.  I wait until the baby is in bed so I can run.  I look forward to doing something good for myself (and being by myself!).  I am feeling strong.  I am looking better.  And in October, I’m going to cross that finish line with a sense of accomplishment, and a smile on my face.

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Practical Party Planning

I had been thinking about my daughters’ first birthday party for a while, but only in an abstract way.  I knew I wanted to have it at our house, with all of our immediate family.  I didn’t think much about the details, which is a problem quirk of mine.  As I browsed Pinterest, I would see all of the amazing party ideas out there, knowing that I would not make any of them.  I felt a pang of guilt that my kids will never have a crafty birthday party with unique food items, clever little signs, sayings and props, with hand crafted invitations.  I could probably find time for it if I really wanted to, but I’m not creative or good at crafts, and it would add a lot of stress to my life.

I set up an event on Facebook about three weeks before the party, so my family would have something in writing.  I sent the paper invitation a week in advance.  I decided on a theme about three or four days before the party.  It was going to be kind of a superhero/super baby party.  I considered it ‘loosely themed’, because there were only three details of the party that had anything to do with superheroes – the cake, and the capes & bracelets I bought for the kids attending.  I considered this a win.

In the end, the party was great, and not stressful at all.  I was able to spend time talking to everyone.  Mallory loved her cupcake(s), and I loved opening all her girly gifts.

Here’s how I planned her party:

1. Make sure the people you really want to attend, can actually attend.  I asked my family to weigh in on dates.  I knew that some of my family was going on vacation the weekend of her actual birthday, so I got feedback on the weeks before and after.  While I admit this can be a little bit of a pain to try and work around everyone else’s schedules, it paid off, because I was able to have my whole family attend.

2. Order Pizza.  Make some side dishes.  If family offers to bring something, graciously accept.  I have become a pretty decent cook, but that doesn’t mean I have time or can deal with the stress of cooking for a large number of people.  We have a pizza place nearby that offers a deal if you order four or more pizzas, so the cost ends up being very reasonable.  Gluten free and vegan needs can be taken care of by purchasing an Amy’s frozen pizza at the grocery store.  I bought chips, and made hummus and cajun black bean dip.  My sister and I picked blueberries the day before.  A couple people brought side dishes, and we had plenty of food.

3. Order the cake.  I have very little artistic ability, so I could make a cake, but what about the decorating?  For my son’s first birthday, I made brownies, but then I was scrambling at the last minute because I didn’t know how to make them look pretty.  I had my mom write on them with that colored cake writing stuff.  These days, it’s easy to have a cake made by someone else.  Practically every grocery store makes birthday cakes.  I am lucky enough to have a neighbor who makes amazing cakes, so I didn’t even have to pick it up.  She brought it over to my house before the party.  It looked amazing, tasted amazing and caused me no stress.  And on top of that, she brought me a cake plate and stand, so I could present it nicely.  Perfect.   On a side note, if you live near Hudson and want to check out Emma’s cakes, you can do so here.  She uses fondant to decorate,which gives it a really fancy look.

A Super Mallory Cake with coordinating cupcakes!

A Super Mallory Cake with coordinating cupcakes!

4. Don’t buy any food or drinks for the party that you and your family won’t eat after.  I have a 2 liter bottle of soda in my pantry that is probably a year old.  No one in our family likes it, so it just sits there.  Same situation with food that just isn’t worth wasting calories on.  Parties can be a fun time to try out new snacks, but I don’t like to have leftovers that are going to go to waste.  Everything I bought for the party were things we already eat or drink, if not all the time, at least occasionally.

5. Keep decorations to a minimum.  I know some people are going to disagree with this one, but I don’t like spending money on things that are only going to be used for a couple hours on one day.  If you are a crafty person and enjoy the decorating, then I get it.  That stuff is cute.  But I am using store bought decorations, so I just limit it to a few table decorations and a hanging banner that says Happy Birthday.  I didn’t even buy plates and cups that said Happy Birthday.  I just bought the plain ones so they could transfer seamlessly to other events.

6. Send a 4×6 photo as a Thank You Card (in an envelope, of course).  What do people do with thank you cards?  Probably keep them for a little while and then throw them in the trash.  It’s unfortunate, but true.  I plan on sending out Mallory’s 1 year photos with a little note on the back.  Most people want a photo of her anyway, so this is a great way to kill two birds with one stone.  And, if they throw away a picture of my daughter, well they will just have to live with that guilt.

Mallory enjoying her cake while I opened her gifts.

Mallory enjoying her cake while I opened her gifts.

I think that having parties should be fun.  Some people may enjoy making all the food or all the decorations, but that’s just not for me.  I don’t want to dread my kids’ parties.  In the future, if they want themes and decorations, they will get them.  If they want to make crafts or some of the food, I will help them.  But, right now I’m trying to keep it simple, and practical.

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Panic

It’s back.  Creeping over me while I’m asleep.  I wake up in a wave of fear.  My heart is beating fast, my arms have a numb, tingly feeling, and my palms are sweating.  I concentrate on my breathing.  If I can just breathe deeply, then I can control it and not have a full blown panic attack.  I get out of bed and walk around.  I go downstairs and try to think about normal things, not about the fear that wants to overtake me.  I go back upstairs, have a drink of water and lay back down.  I can calm myself, but if my thoughts go back to thinking about the panic, it will start all over again.  I eventually fall back asleep.  Later, I wake again to the same sensation.  Waves of hot and cold.  This time, I feel some slight tightness in my chest.  I think, ‘I’m having a heart attack’.  I think, ‘I can’t die, I have two babies to take care of.’   I know that I’m having a panic attack and that I’m not going to die, but at the time, it’s hard to convince myself.  I finally fell asleep last night at 3am.

I have been having panic attacks on and off for eight years.  They started one sunny afternoon as I was driving on a highway.  I had blood drawn shortly before, so I thought it was low blood sugar.  I got off at an exit and bought a candy bar and a soda.  It didn’t help.  I struggled to drive the rest of the way home.  The panic eventually spilled over into everyday life, and while I fought it as long as I could, I had to start taking Lexapro.  I weaned off it when I wanted to get pregnant with Logan, and I was fine throughout my pregnancy.  I didn’t start having feelings of panic again until Logan was about 18 months old.  I started having the waves of panic and some numbness when I would drive on the highway.  It was mild, and I could fight through it.  But soon, I didn’t want to drive on the highway at all.  It was just too much.  I would completely depend on my husband or a friend to drive if I had to go long distances.  It had been isolated to driving.  Until last night.

I can’t figure out exactly what is triggering my panic attacks.  I had them before and after I was married.  Before and after I had kids.  Before and after I became vegan.  I can only guess that I have them on the highway because of everything moving so fast around me, and that I have them at night because of stress.  I know I don’t deal with stress very well.  I usually carry it around with me, tucking it down deep inside so that I’m not consciously thinking about it.  Maybe my body is trying to deal with it when my defenses are down, when I sleep.

It looks like I will have to try another anti-anxiety pill.  If it were just happening when I drive, I could work around it, but since it’s slipping into other parts of my life, I have to control it.  If anyone has another option, I’m open to hearing about it.  I am still nursing my ten month old, so I am not happy that I will have to take a pill that could affect her, but I also can’t feel anxious and be worried that I’m going to have a panic attack when I’m taking care of my kids.

So many women I know are on anti-anxiety/depression pills.  These are all women with great lives, and from the outside, you would not think they have any reason to be anxious or depressed.  Maybe we’re all just taking on too much, or maybe the world is moving too fast.  Whatever it is, I wish we could all just ‘relax’ and be happy without Big Pharm.

If you are one of those ladies out there (or men), and you have a pill you like, please leave a comment or message me.  I’m not going back on Lexapro due to the ‘electric shock’ feelings, the weight gain, and the general feeling of ‘I don’t give a shit about anything’.  Let me know what’s worked for you.

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